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Scientists have come out many times and said that it would be impossible for our bodies to walk around after we’re dead moaning and craving fresh flesh and brains. I mean, sure, after we’re dead a body part might spasm for a moment or something, but that is light years away from how we would imagine ourselves combined.
I recently read an interesting article here on Primer Magazine called 5 Reasons The Zombie Apocalypse Will Never Come To Pass. It was insightful and somewhat convincing, but at the same time, I’ll admit that television shows like The Walking Dead almost make it seem so realistic that you might start to wonder.
Any band of survivors needs a leader, and Smith fits the bill. The leader is not always the most talented, but he makes good decisions and always finds a way to survive even when the odds are stacked against him.
Smith can use the survival skills he honed in the NFL (staying a starting quarterback despite a bloated contract, the presence of a talented backup, and a small pool for free agent signal-callers) and carry the torch for humankind. After signing Mark Sanchez to that ridiculous contract extension, he ensured no team would ever hire him again, and he's already disappeared (He's a sports agent?).
He'd be one of those “underground survivors” who the heroes would stumble on and find out he's been living by himself in a cave for decades. He'll realize humans are much smarter than zombies are, and he'll engage them all instead in a war of words in social media.
It may take decades for a zombie to finally learn how to sign up for Twitter to properly engage him. He would go to the zombie Pro Bowl his first year, but then, in season two, he'd start sniping with teammates and get fined a quarter of his brain.
The zombie outbreak will spread like wildfire across the United States, but Freshman has an escape plan. Knowing full well Canada will close their borders to stop infestation, he'll use his Canadian cache (“You know, I did win back-to-back Grey Cups”) and leftover Montreal identification to get safely back to the Great White North.
He'll try to bring Jay Cutler with him, but the zombies will pick him off easily. Every horror/ zombie infestation features a guy who you think has perished early on, but then keeps resurfacing when you least expect him, only to vanish again shortly after.
This is a role that Rex Ryan could have filled, but since he's stopped blitzing so much the past few seasons I don't think he can rely on a 'bend but don't break' philosophy in taking on a massive wave of the undead. He'll run through them, and you'll marvel at the zombie body parts that go flying as a result.
In fact, Ryan will be thrown to a group of zombies for no reason other than to have Lauren single again. In AMC's The Walking Dead (which airs Sundays at 9 p.m. EST/8 p.m. CST), now in its ninth season, characters have survived years after the zombie apocalypse began and are now working to expand their simple communities into a stronger, more capable and civilized society.
Live Science spoke with experts in early human history to get their thoughts on the keys to building a sustainable civilization. “It's unlikely that a group of 10 people, for example, will be successful at colonizing,” said Terry Hunt, an archaeologist and dean of the University of Arizona Honors College.
That's because having more people minimize the chance of a skewed sex ratio and prevents the first generation from being too closely related to one another. “If I were in charge of one of those isolated communities surrounded by timber palisades and sheet metal, I would try to keep as many people with diverse knowledge around as possible,” said Steven Kuhn, an anthropologist at the University of Arizona who studies ancient civilizations in the Mediterranean.
Protection from the elements, and zombies in the case of “The Walking Dead,” is a basic need for human survival. “Part of survival would be not getting invaded by another group of people who just come and take everything and leave you for dead,” Hunt said.
For example, the people of Easter Island used their enormous ancient statues to display their strength to other communities. (Image credit: AMC Networks) Besides shelter, a community needs a reliable food and water supply to survive.
“Those are absolutely fundamental,” said Vance Holiday, an archaeologist in the School of Anthropology and Department of Geosciences at the University of Arizona. And not only do they need to learn how to produce and share the food and water, but there has to be a way of managing fluctuations or risks, Hunt said.
“The communities that own something together are going to do better than those that don't have a sense of sharpness,” said Carl Lip, an archaeologist in the Department of Anthropology at Binghamton University. Lip is also an expert in the human history of Easter Island, where early communities spent decades at a time building hundreds of massive stone statues.
In today's communities, sports teams serve a similar purpose as the Easter Island statues. Now, the communities of “The Walking Dead” may not be ready to start their own sports teams yet, but they did at least try to work together to repair a bridge.
(Image credit: AMC Networks) One of the more challenging aspects of building and sustaining a civilization is deciding on punishment for intolerable actions. More specifically, what to do with the cheaters, because civilization can't sustain itself if it's based on a “winner takes all” structure.
The characters on “The Walking Dead” have a bit of an advantage though, he said, because they “have the knowledge of thousands of years of history and an infinite variety of political systems.” Indeed, in the beginning of this season, Machine, one of the survivors, uses her knowledge of past political structures to draft a charter for the communities to adhere to.
(Image credit: AMC Networks) In today's world, there are retail stores for nearly everything you could ever want or need. But the survivors of “The Walking Dead” are at an advantage over early civilizations, once again, because they've seen what technology is capable of.
The Rap New people of Easter Island were doing just fine for 500 years until the Europeans arrived and brought deadly diseases with them, Lip said. European diseases decimated the population of Easter Island and the early civilizations of North America.
Having public health strategies for minimizing contact with infected others would be critical to the success of a civilization rising during the zombie apocalypse. Because it's a modern-day apocalypse, the characters in “The Walking Dead” probably have a very basic idea of how to take care of themselves.
The biggest problem in building civilizations is when the lack of sharing resources creates divisions and then forces communities to compete with one another, Lip said. Catch The Walking Dead, ” now in its ninth season, on Sundays at 9 p.m. EST/8 p.m. CST on AMC.