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Best Zombie Apocalypse Bikes

author
Danielle Fletcher
• Thursday, 29 October, 2020
• 9 min read

No we don’t have science or “facts” to back that up, but we do have a collection of movies, shows, and books that warn of our future undead overlords. And while big, bad trucks might be nice for shelter, a motorcycle is more nimble (highway jams), can be more fuel efficient (stopping for gas might not be so easy), and they’re often a more affordable option.

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(Source: coolmaterial.com)

Contents

Based off the Kawasaki SLR 650 (also a good choice if you can’t get your hands on this military model), the JP8/Diesel is designed to be lightweight but extremely rugged. First off, diesel is probably a benefit in an apocalypse scenario with most of the population wanting unleaded gasoline.

The array of bolt-on mounts allow you to strap your gear and weapons right to your ride. The agile bike also boasts dual side-mounted fuel tanks allowing you to travel up to 500 miles without stopping at a zombie -infested gas station.

And while fuel storage is down compared to other models, it still gets a satisfying 400+ mile range. But for just blasting out of your neighborhood and finding shelter, this little vehicle of the night is pretty sweet.

And if you can find places to charge it, you won’t have to deal with any gas crisis. Like we said, we think a diesel vehicle would be a benefit in a time when everyone is trying to fill their gas tanks.

Each is handmade, delivers solid torque, and offers great fuel economy. Packed with a liquid cooled 450cc four-stroke, the Christina AWD 450 Military Edition has been used by the Navy SEALs and other special forces.

zombie apocalypse bike drove shand
(Source: singletrackworld.com)

It can be customized with plenty of accessories to make it ideal for you and the survival scenario you may find yourself in. If movies have taught use anything about the apocalypse, it’s that roadways will mysteriously be filled with large craters and insane traffic.

Complete with a large fuel tank, a stowage compartment with an electric socket, and beefed up suspension and brakes, it’s perfect for a long off-road haul. It’s not the motorcycle for the average person, but if you happen to live around huge hills or are worried about obstacles when shit goes down, Taurus is perfect.

It’s also surprisingly light, foldable, and able to make quick work of any terrain. While times have changed and there are more powerful bikes that can travel greater distances, it’s still a solid option.

We painted the bodywork that Desert Storm color then, depending on your perspective, raised or lowered the suspension. We dropped the forks as low as we could in the triple and raised the shock’s ride height as much as possible; the idea being to max out the ground clearance.

Cons: Limited range (small gas tank) Not ideal as primary mode of transportation Leave it to the Russians (the same crazy folks who brought us this bug-out-worthy beast) to invent a collapsible, offload motorbike capable of going anywhere.

survival motoped zombie apocalypse bike cool wrong goes
(Source: coolmaterial.com)

Pros: Lightweight / portable Tight design allows it to go anywhere 400-mile range Foot-powered when your gas runs out Hayes Diversified Technologies has been supplying the U.S. military with custom dirt bikes since the early 1980s.

KTM’s flagship Adventure line of two-wheelers packs a sh*t ton of features. The top-of-the-line 1290 Super Adventure R is the company’s most extreme of all, packing “1.301cc, 140 Nm of torque and 160 hp into the world’s most advanced Travel Enduro chassis.” The three offload modes are purpose-built to tackle seriously tough terrain.

Cons: Fancy electrical conveniences provide additional points of failure Baja-style LED headlights, auxiliary fuel tanks, snap-on tool bags, and heavy-duty skid plates are all available.

Pros: Military-grade durability Extreme offload capability Extensive customizations available No matter where you fall on zombie fandom, there can be no doubt that apocalypse prepping has become a “thing,” to the point that even the U.S. Army has held World War Zed-themed exercises.

Even if said apocalypse is unlikely to ever happen, there are plenty of other scenarios such as SHF/WOOL, natural disasters, et cetera, that can bring about the same sorts of problems and needs. Having been at ground-zero for Hurricane Katrina and her aftermath, I have seen firsthand just exactly how fast civil behavior goes out the window when people get hungry, thirsty or have need of ice to preserve food, medicine, baby formula and the like.

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(Source: www.reddit.com)

Gasoline has the unfortunate tendency to go “stale,” which is what we call it when the light ends evaporate and what remains more closely resembles thin varnish with very little oomph left in it. With fuel concerns in mind, my first pick for a survival bike would have to be the M1030M1 from Hayes Diversified Technologies, the U.S. Marine’s diesel-powered dirt bike modeled from a Kawasaki 650.

Few things allow you to extend across rough terrain quite like a dirt bike, and this ride comes with all the features and capabilities one would expect, and it’s all driven by a 30 horsepower, 611 cc thumped mill that can run on JP4, JP5, JP8, diesel or kerosene. To burn straight alcohol, it may take special gaskets and fuel lines, and will most definitely require rejecting, so test this and lay in supplies *before* it hits the fan.

Caveat: It may take special gaskets and fuel lines, and will most definitely require rejecting to burn straight alcohol, so test this and lay in supplies before it hits the fan. This bike is capable of tackling the roughest terrain with its two-wheel drive feature, earning nicknames like “The Mountain Goat” and “The Cat,” and it can even ford streams and rivers by floating on its huge tires.

Now for something of a hybrid ride, that can take advantage of available unleaded gasoline, as well as another potentially inexhaustible power source, human sweat: the aptly named Survival Bike from Motored. Essentially a heavy bicycle, the chassis sports front forks and a rear monoshock for off-road performance far beyond your traditional mountain bike.

Best of all, it’s small and light enough to chuck in the back of a truck, for instances where you ride out and need to, shall we say, liberate a vehicle from town. An exposed frame serves as something of an exoskeleton, and I expect it can take more abuse than your standard, plastic-shrouded scooter body and has an extremely torque motor that cranks out 158 pounds of grunt for towing tasks.

survival bike motoped zombie apocalypse bucks million miles range looks motorcycle without survial motorcycles autoevolution bicycle
(Source: coolmaterial.com)

Between solar power, hydro-electric, windmills and a plethora of other means, electricity can be “harvested” from the environment a number of ways. An exposed frame serves as something of an exoskeleton, and I expect it can take more abuse than your standard, plastic-shrouded scooter body.

In addition, you could theoretically use it as a beast of burden, with room for cargo at various points, and an extremely torque motor that cranks out 158 pounds of grunt for towing tasks. Heck, I bet you could hitch a plow to the thing and work a field if you really wanted to, especially with a knobby in back.

Mileage varies depending on model and power options, and you need 110 volt service to charge it, but there are always ways with a big battery bank, and a good inverter. T. J got an early start from his father and other family members who owned and rode motorcycles, and by helping with various mechanical repairs throughout childhood.

Though primarily a Harley rider, he has an appreciation for all sorts of bikes and doesn't discriminate against any particular brand or region of origin. A few months back, the Chicago cycling scene’s Internet was temporarily “broken,” thanks to a timely question posed by Manuel Tenor, Owner of Johnny Sprockets bike shops.

Typical year-end chatter centering around cyclocross tubular, winter training plans and lobster gloves had to be temporarily put on hold while bike geeks poured their collective mental energies toward the following: Common answers ranged from fat bikes (ideal for nuclear winters and sandy wastelands) to touring bikes (great for hauling ammo and Twinkies) to single speeds (simpler and less likely to break down whilst being chased by undead hordes).

zombie apocalypse bike grab
(Source: forums.mtbr.com)

Despite the wide range of opinions, many generally agreed it’s important to steer clear of cutting edge, proprietary technology in favor of time-tested stuff that can be fixed along a lost highway, as well as rebuilt using parts readily made available by raiding an abandoned Walmart. The best part of the discussion was that Tenor actually BUILT his vision of an apocalypse bike and has been using it as his daily driver for several months.

At present, the frame rolls on ultra-durable DT Swiss rims, hand-laced to 36-hole Shaman 105 hubs. Highlights include Paul Minamoto brakes (with the ubiquitous Pool Stop Salmon brake pads), Thomson Elite seat post, and a Tubes Logo Eve rear rack.

Full-length ASKS fenders mitigate splatter from uneaten brain matter while Continental Nordic Spike studded snow tires originally helped Tenor keep the rubber side down. Now that he’s had some saddle time, The Chain link caught up with Tenor see how the apocalypse bike project is coming along.

MT: The catalyst for the apocalypse bike was actually a customer coming into the store to look around and daydream. If it was the end he wanted to have as much fun on the bike as possible before the zombies, virus, solar flare, or whatever apocalypse you prefer, got him.

CL:Prior to posing the question on social media, what did you consider the vital attributes of an apocalypse -worthy bike? Hauling gear and the capability to traverse rough and varied terrain.

bike zombie apocalypse survival bicycle chainsaw fbcdn sphotos ak a6
(Source: www.pinterest.com)

MT: What I learned from the post is that a lot of people wanted to have fun with their bike. I chose the Surly Cross-Check frame and still stick by that decision.

It has the capability to take front and rear racks for cargo, the frame clearance to run big tires, the ability to be set up as a multi-speed or single speed bike thanks to horizontal drop-outs, and can be set up with parts that are found in any bike shop or department store in the country. I used a heavy-duty touring wheel build for durability, wide puncture resistant tires for traction and reliability, and a steel rear rack for strength and serviceability.

Part of the reason I chose the Cross-Check over more rugged options is that while it is a very versatile and capable bike it is also very zippy and fun. With that in mind I decided to build it with new Shaman 105 11-speed shifters and complete drivetrain.

The streets of Chicago aren't exactly in the greatest condition so having a bike that can take the daily abuse is great. I'm already several pounds lighter than I am usually in the winter which hopefully will make it even easier to escape the zombie horde.

For daily use you might want to leave the crossbow off though, people freak out over stuff like that! There are campsites not too far out of Chicago that'll make for some good overnight or weekend trips.

(Source: www.youtube.com)

The competition bug bit in 2012 and nowadays he races cyclocross, track, mountain bikes, criterions and gravel for Half Acre Cycling and The Bone bell. His goals for 2015 are to complete the Lumberjack 100 mountain bike race as well as a 600 kilometer brevet.

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Sources
1 www.vanityfair.com - https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2021/01/wandavision-what-movies-to-watch-comics-to-read-everything-you-need-to-know
2 www.msn.com - https://www.msn.com/en-sg/entertainment/news/a-beginner-s-guide-to-preparing-for-disney-s-wandavision/ar-BB1cPe32
3 www.polygon.com - https://www.polygon.com/disney-plus/2021/1/14/22230679/wandavision-review-marvel