The only other person I’ve apologized to is my mother and that was court ordered. I’m going to be so mad when my mood elevators wear off.
Get on your back, point your heels to Jesus and think of hand bags. Feature flash / Shutterstock.com I want a man who can make a woman feel like a girl.
Will And Grace It’s not something you can just run away from like a hotel bill… or a crying baby. Honey my catchphrase is: 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case, you figure it out.
OK, Rule number 1: Unless you’re served in a frosted glass, never come within 4 feet of my lips. Maybe I’ll take some jeans and trade ’em for a new maid.
Unless you're served in a frosted glass, never come within four feet of my lips. Honey, I'd suck the alcohol out of a deodorant stick.
Sure, I may lose $100,000, but the drinks are free, so it evens out! If you ever need a shoulder to cry on, I’ll drink with you.
Honey, my catchphrase is: 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case, you figure it out. You're as gay as a clutch purse on Tony night.
Honey, I've always said, if your genitals are on the outside, you're hiding something on the inside. Honey, tact is for people who aren’t witty enough to be sarcastic.
Boy says ‘Yeah.’ Girl says 'Forget it.’ Boy says 'Okay, then just wear this rubber maid's uniform and beat the old man with a scrub brush.’ Girl says 'How hard? Get on your back, point your heels to Jesus and think of hand bags.
Let’s take pictures of us eating all this food and then show it to some homeless person. I’m going to be so mad when my mood elevators wear off.
Somebody who's comfortable in my world, and makes me laugh, and occasionally brings me flowers. And after my date left, I was offered a new job.
God didn't give me the ability to play the piano, or paint a picture, or have compassion. But he did give me the ability to crack a walnut with my hookah.
Oh my God, how can you drink straight orange juice first thing in the morning? The only other person I’ve apologized to is my mother and that was court ordered.
I only have sex for jewels, furs, or mixed securities, like a lady. Look what the cat cleaned up, showered, exfoliated, powdered, lipsticked, Gucci'd and dragged in.
It’s time to get your head out of the dumps and your legs in the air! That sounds like fun’… or ‘I love you’.
Why don’t you save your anger for the bedroom, where it belongs? When you pour your own glass of juice, you are taking a job away from someone who came to this country in a crate or an inner-tube.
If you expect me to shop out of a bin with a bunch of mall-walking blue hairs and ‘I love Grandma’ T-shirt, then you got another thing coming. Maybe I’ll take some jeans and trade ’em for a new maid.