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Best Car For Zombie Apocalypse

author
Earl Hamilton
• Saturday, 19 December, 2020
• 8 min read

If Hollywood predicted it right, aliens are going to be tiny little fellas, but they're going to be fast. One that uses a hybrid drivetrain to save fuel, and boost horsepower output.

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If an object is determined to be a threat, the windows will automatically roll up, the door locks will activate, and footage from the rearview camera appears on the infotainment display. Consider the new Jeep pickup's standard equipment (in Rubicon guise): Fox shocks, skid plates, beefy Dana 44 axles, locking front and rear differentials, and rock rails.

You're probably asking, But why choose the Gladiator pickup, when your stuff could be protected in the closed confines of the four-door Wrangler Unlimited ?” It's ready to fight, and its open pickup bed and removable roof panels make for excellent sharpshooter perches from which to fend off bands of groaning zombies.

With the nation’s finest armaments left abandoned by the now-overrun military and useless to the undead, it wouldn’t be hard to utilize the Gladiator’s 1190-pound payload and stick a .50-caliber rotating machine gun in the bed. Event: Cthulhu Awakens Strategy: Swim quickly, and carefully back to safety.

Legends tell of an enormous octopus with big armored scales and tentacles strong enough to lift cruise ships. Whatever sleeping medication Cthulhu takes, it's working, because the beast hasn't revealed itself in over 15,000 million years.

The 43-hp ATV wears giant 63-inch tires that can climb logs, rocks, ice, snow, but most impressively, travel on water at 3.7 mph. Okay, that's not very quick, considering your typical fishing boat has a top speed of 11 mph, but the Sharp doesn't stop when it hits the shore.

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Assuming Cthulhu can't fit a pair of Heals at the end of its bus-size tentacles, getting onto shore to escape seems like a good plan. However, the planet would be full of debris and rough terrain if such an event occurred, so its 35 degrees of grade-ability could come in handy.

Post-apocalyptic sorts of tensions take a while to play out into full-on lockdowns, so you've had time to equip your black Chevrolet Suburban HD (today available only to fleets, but you can get around that snafu, right?) Shown here in government guise, the Suburban HD is the smart survivalist’s one-up on the swaths of doomsday planners clamoring for a bickered squad car.

No uniformed police or military will dare second-guess you when you glide through checkpoints with a one-handed confident wave. Bonus effort: Talk three of your friends into snapping up armored Suburbans of their own to create a convincing convoy.

The hardcore, off-road-ready TRY Pro version ensures you won't have a pang of unease over the Tacoma's capability, either. The 2020 Tacoma TRY Pro adds an incredible (and appropriate) Army Green paint option.

(Don't worry, you’ll be spray-painting “Wolverines” before the enemy knew what hit them.) As a bonus, the TRY Pro model can be paired with a dependable six-speed manual transmission, which these days double as a better anti-theft system than the most state-of-the-art car alarm you can buy.

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What the Nomad does have is a supercharged Honda K24 engine pumping out 300 horsepower, BF Goodrich Mud Terrain tires, an adjustable heavy-duty suspension, and a feathery 1750-pound weight. Picture this: You live in a dense downtown area and learn warheads are inbound.

Thanks to Post Blast Protective Technology, the windows don't completely shatter and remain firmly in place. If the local forecast calls for cloudy with a chance of bullets, the several layers of protection offered in this X5 will keep you from drowning in lead.

Windows, door gaps, and even an optional reinforced roof to prevent drone attacks are all part of this shelter on wheels. Run-flat tires and extra guarding around the gas tank are both in place to keep things moving.

There is no better way to save the women and children from some horrific dystopian reality that enslaves and reassigns them than with a new four-door Union Crew Cab from Mercedes-Benz's “Defense” line. You can build these rigs aimed at military service pretty much any way you want, but in this scenario we'd suggest upgrading to the armored troop carrier.

With eight forward and six reverse gears, the ability to ford water up to 50 inches deep, and portal axles for insane ground clearance, the Union isn't likely to encounter a situation that stumps it, apocalypse or not. Tensions are rising, the riots are happening a lot more often, the mail hasn’t been coming, and the power has been iffy at best.

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You can feel it in your bones: It’s only a matter of days before the entire country goes Tango Uniform. Take the family on a fun over landing trip today, and be super-prepared for an uncertain tomorrow.

If you are anything like us, you wisely opted for the 170-inch “Amp” Sprinter dualize model, with 200 watts of solar array up top, a queen-size bed, shower, rainwater collection, and induction cook top. With factory all-wheel drive, a suspension lift kit, and some serious off-road rubber, you and your family are headed for the hills to sit this one out for as long as it takes for those riots to die down in the city.

Put the kibosh on civil disobedience, and you could be running a town or grease ball militia before you know it, and stability and protection is powerful social currency in post-apocalyptic times. So, why not pacify the masses on your way to your new station by using the 250-psi water cannons mounted atop Inks' very aptly named Riot Control Vehicle will pretty much tone down any anxious crowd you could imagine.

Whatever you did in the normal world to afford the $500,000-plus Phantom Extended Wheelbase, we'll assume you'll be crafty enough to instantly do the math when the antibiotic-resistant super-virus outbreak hits. Unlike some other vehicles on this list, it isn't going to beat the odds and carry you to a post-human earthly existence.

No, it's here for those keen on measuring out their remaining days one drink at a time in comfort and style. You can scarcely hear the screaming and decaying hordes around you as you sip on the Verve from 1841 that you’ve been saving for just this day.

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It's not difficult to imagine a scenario in which the same geniuses who brought you the mortgage crisis, credit crisis, and a few stock market collapses could botch the entire financial system, sending us all back to the Stone Age overnight. Imagine, you could barter your way across the nation like a dystopian version of Jon Favre in Chef, cooking up food for the masses in exchange for raw ingredients, shelter, warmth, or fuel.

Add the Ram Box option, and now you have a vehicle that would be perfect for long-distance pavement or over landing missions. All you need to add is a snowplow in front and a .50 caliber machine guns mounted on a swivel base in the bed.

2020 Ram Dually Mega Cab | FCA The Mercedes Sprinter van is available in a four-wheel drive platform. The four-wheel drive capability is great, and the roominess permits you to make your fortress of solitude inside.

It is not as heavy and cumbersome as a Ram 2500 Mega Cab pickup, and it is more capable than the Mercedes Sprinter van. 2021 Ford Bronco Two-Door | Spy photo No list of apocalyptic proportions would ever be complete without it having a Jeep Wrangler Unlimited Rubicon on it.

The four-door model offers room for gear and four-wheel drive capability that has plenty of wheel travel built-in. This Jeep Wrangler Rubicon is displayed during the Vienna Autos how | Photo by Manfred Schmidt/Getty Images The M1 Abrams tank comes already armored.

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Let’s say your Bronco was used on a scouting mission to find your friends held up in a small compound surrounded by zombies. Once found, the location is radioed back, and The M1 Abrams is launched to extricate those friends without fear of its hull being compromised by anything the zombies can throw at it.

The Ram 2500 Mega Cab pickup, the Mercedes Sprinter van, the Ford Bronco, the Jeep Wrangler Unlimited Rubicon, and the M1 Abrams tank are the picks for your Zombie Apocalypse. To find the five best cars for surviving the zombie apocalypse, we looked at cars with good performance (for outrunning zombie hordes), maximum ground clearance (for plowing through zombie mobs without getting stuck), decent gas mileage (fuel will be scarce when society collapses), strong reliability ratings (try getting your car serviced when your mechanic is feasting on your brains), nice interiors (outrunning zombies is stressful, and you’ll want good lumbar support) and maximum defensive capabilities (zombies will rip through a rag top and devour you in no time).

We’ve also pointed out cars that may seem like good options, but could end up turning you into the main course at a zombie buffet faster than you can scream, “Rick! Ford’s Work Solutions package includes an in-dash computer, so you can create spreadsheets to track your zombie kills.

If the Internet is still working, in-truck Wi-Fi can help you share and compare your kills with other survivors and help you locate a safe haven. Encourage your friends to buy F-150 models with Ford’s Crew Chief fleet tracking system.

Load up a few friends, motor over to the closest abandoned military depot, mount a Ma Deuce on the back, and you’re ready to deal with any slow-moving zombie mob. But, if you’re dealing with “28 Days Later”-style fast-moving zombie types, you’ll want to skip the open bed.

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Because they tend to get better gas mileage than SUVs, wagons have a natural advantage as a zombie -fighting tool. Standard all-wheel drive means you’ll have traction even when the ground is slick with zombie gore.

Inside, the Outback has 34.3 cubic feet of cargo space behind the back seat, and standard roof rails, which are perfect for carrying the supplies you’ll need (don’t forget your chainsaw). As a bonus, the Outback has some of the best crash test scores a car can get, so if zombies cause you to wreck, you may still be able to flee on foot.

Wagons without brains: Because it’s available with all-wheel drive or a diesel engine, you might be tempted to select the Audi A3 for outrunning zombies. We’d normally hold off on recommending the Jeep Grand Cherokee for outrunning zombies, but with its off-road capabilities and ability to access remote (read: safe) areas, we couldn’t leave it off our list.

But, what really makes it a strong SUV for the zombie apocalypse is the fact that Jeep has confirmed that the Grand Cherokee will get a diesel engine for 2013. When panic sets it, just drain the grease tanks of a few abandoned fast food joints, hunker down and make your fuel.

Load canisters of it on the Grand Cherokee’s available roof rack, and you won’t need to stop for gas. SUVs without brains: We hate to put the supremely capable Jeep Wrangler on this list, but with a roof and doors that are designed to be removed, a Wrangler full of fleeing people is as tough to get into as a bag of Doritos for a hungry zombie.

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Save enough people from zombies, and you’ll have built-in votes when you decide to run for president of the Resurrected States of America. No, the Carrera GTS doesn’t have a lot of ground clearance, but it’s so low that most zombies you hit will go over the top of the car (especially if you keep your foot on the gas).

You could put the top down and drive while your passenger uses the extra space to wield a chainsaw at any attacking zombies. Just keep in mind that with the top down, there’s nothing to prevent a lucky zombie from getting in, and the first thing he’ll have access to is your head.

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2 www.sparknotes.com - https://www.sparknotes.com/lit/godot/study-questions/
3 www.gradesaver.com - https://www.gradesaver.com/waiting-for-godot/q-and-a/
4 www.scribd.com - https://www.scribd.com/doc/262769601/Waiting-for-Godot-Discussion-Questions
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